I got accused of being a creepy old man cos - you know - 14 or 15 year old girls don't have the mental capacity to think about things like web comics, graphics design, spaceships... or have questions or muse about their own anatomies... They don't have ambitions to be graphic artists or to play video games. They can't have money or be curious about things outside of.. I dunno hair and makeup. They're definitely not allowed to have naughty thoughts or poke around (digitally or....digitally?) with their sexual organs.
Especially... and this is the biggy. They're not allowed to use big words and discuss things over the head of their olders and wisers. Feck that CAN'T BE a girl.. Only guys can use words at an early age. (And feck faker neckbeards like this - amirite? We all know teenage chicks don't write with big words).
Only guys get to get involve themselves in sophisticated conversations about the nature of transparency and honesty when purchasing digital spaceships.
This is what I got the most when I was being accused of being a dirty old man: "That theres no way a 14 year old (!I was 15 do the math but - whatever. You're my elders so you know best obviously.).. ...can argue eloquently and passionately and articulately about things in a way that contradicts a preformed notion about juvenility. Yes that was a big sentence - see? I HAVE to be an old guy to write that.
Basically a group of ageist sexist men have defined me into an image more pleasingly familiar to them (neckbeard!) because.. wait for it... its intolerable that a *child* (in america 14/15 is a child) can try and have define herself according to sexual identity and curiosity - making no allowances for inexpererience or naievite or precocsiousness or sheer feckin desire to be part of the digital world.
Sure some of what we do is stupid. Was my Calender idea from 3 years ago stupid? Maybe. I learned a lot. I wanted to be a graphic designer. I thought it was a good idea. I maybe didnt have a very good plan. Feckin sue me.
I mean what kind of teenager would have thoughts about that stuff? I'm sure boys and *men* certainly never would ponder their own scantily clad fiction heros. So.. yeah if a girl is posting stuff about girls in bikinis it's GOTTA be a greasy old guy right. Only a man would talk about a vulva and how to make it non-pornographic in a spaceship bikini calender :|
But.. heres the thing. I have people ripping at my identity. And I shouldn't care - but it REALLY feckin does. I'm being defined by other people. And my digital identity is kind of important.
Andto explain that important I realise I have to give some stuff up about myself. - but it I do then isnt that me doxxing myself? Did I have to do that just to get *recognition* from people that honestly I don't care about?
And then I think about this guy.
Basically he had people attempt to define him: You CANT BE AMERICAN! WHERES THE BIRTH CERT?
And he went high when they went low: He asked people to check his background and be reasonable.
AND THEY SAID *OMG we found evidence - Youre not who you say you are*
And in the end even he had to cave. Barack Obama had to cave into the trolls and doxx himself by revealing his birth certificate.
Even he had to do it. Not to let the trolls win - but because he didn't want the discussion to cloud his further road. (It did anyway - cos trolls are NEVER satisfied). He knew that every time he spoke.. Every time he had an opinion - people would simply negate it with "You're not American - Phoney!".
And I know that online now whenever I go to do my RP things or chat anywhere like Reddit - someone is simply going to do that as well. Negate me as a person, simply because they can't handle a girl being interested and articulate.
*Full disclosure* The Obamas are my heroes. They go high when others go low. As far as I'm concerned When he chose to release his Birth Cert Barack Obama was demonstrating the very highest level of integrity when he allowed his Birth Cert to be revealed. It was a sacrifice on the alter of decency... A frikkin Aslan moment - he appeased the trolls.
So.. That's it. I'm going to doxx myself. BIG whup. But I need to figure out how to do it in a way that doesn't ruin me. I'm not going to let someone control the discussion about who I am. Online or offline. This blogg is officially resurrected.
To all the trolls that doxxed my friends: Feck you. You don't get to define me. You don't get to mould me into a more relateable image just because you can't handle young girls who can out-argue you, out-fight you, out-spend you and out-awesome you. I can do ANYTHING I want - And I do not care if it scares you. This is our century GET USED TO IT.
Stay tuned... Doxx incoming.
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